Changing seasons find us swapping out our wardrobes,
choosing clothing styles more suitable for warmer weather. Fashion designers
are unveiling the latest looks and casting aside yesterday’s apparel.
Cleaning out my own closet, I’m discarding ridiculous
styles like these. Frankly, I’m a little embarrassed to admit owning any of these. (Nope. I don't have them all!) Let’s
just say a few items were gifts. Please don’t tell the givers that I’m tossing
them.
1. Colored Animal Prints
What creative genius dreamed up purple leopard or neon green zebra prints? That wild blouse is not eco-friendly or figure-flattering, so
it’s going to the thrift store, if they’ll take it. Even the zoo wouldn’t want
it.
2. Colored Camouflage
Camouflage is great for hunters or soldiers, who choose
subtle hues for blending into the background. Pink and tan camouflage cargo
pants stand out for all the wrong reasons. What sort of military does a fuchsia
flak jacket support? Goodbye, mixed message!
3. Faux Furs and
Leathers
Animal rights activists ought to protest faux furs and fake
leathers. Perhaps no actual creatures were harmed in the making of that shiny
jacket, but onlookers’ eyes may be burned by the sight. Pleather is no
pleasure, even for the wearer, and a man-made mink is a desecration of
decoration.
4. Fuzzy Vests
Ban the bulk! It’s time to shed those loopy synthetic fuzzy vests. Even a Yeti would find these over-the-top tops to be abominations.
5. Jeggings
Stretch denim leggings can go jump. Jeggings are the epitome
of fashion indecision, and it’s time to take a stand. Will you join me? Be
bold. Be strong. Pick jeans or leggings, and be done with it already. (And if
you go for leggings, please, oh please, choose a long, swingy top. Leggings are
not pants!)
6. Pajama Jeans
Real grownups carped about youth flaunting pajama pants in
public, so clothing manufacturers offered this quirky compromise. Denim-colored
flannel or cotton knit PJ pants are supposed to fake out onlookers. Raise your
hand, if you’ve ever mistaken pajama jeans for real pants. I didn’t think so.
7. Rompers
One-piece outfits with shorts, bloomers, or pantaloons may
look adorable on toddlers, but abhor-able on adults. Let’s send those rompers
to the swamps, unless they come in tiny sizes with snap-tape closures for
diaper changes.
8. Rubber Clogs
Gardeners swear by rubber clogs, not for fashion, but
because all manner of mush hoses off easily. These casual shoes may be great
for the pool or beach, but they offer neither style nor arch support for
everyday wear. Charmed, bedazzled, or plain, rubber clogs are not grown-up
footwear.
9. Socks with High
Heels
For at least two terrifying years, knee socks and anklets
have appeared under skirts with high heels. This style, perhaps intended as a
funked-up version of the dreaded and long-lost (and now returning) legwarmers,
reminds us of the stereotypical tourist with his baggy, droopy socks. Let’s
lose this fashion foible fast. Pick panty hose, or dare to go bare-legged, but
skip the socks.
10. Three-Quarter
Sleeves
Sleeve-tugging has become epidemic with the resurgence of
this indecisive style. The three-quarter sleeve fits neither climate nor
clothier. Ever tried to slip into a jacket or sweatshirt with one of these
tops? Can’t we just pick a long-sleeved shirt and push the arms up, or go
all-out and toss on a tee?
The new season will bring remarkable and ridiculous fashions
of its own. Mind-boggling trends will persist, as long as style-hungry shoppers
continue to snatch them up. In the meantime, I’m making room for fashion finds
by shedding old dogs that have outlived their wardrobe welcome.
Image:
Public domain photo
Feel free to follow on Google Plus and Twitter. Like this
blog? Check out Practically at Home on Facebook.
No comments:
Post a Comment