Riddle Me Christmas

Riddle Me Christmas

How many Christmas jokes do you know?

Old-fashioned riddles and puns may cause us to groan, or these crazy quips can make us merrier, especially at Christmas time. 

Try these 15 Christmas riddles, and see what happens.

Q: What do Santa and his elves do every Saturday night?
A: They have a ho-ho-ho down.

Q: What happened to Santa's elf, after he ate the Christmas tree decorations?
A: He came down with tinsel-itis.

Q: Why does Santa fly down the chimney on Christmas Eve?
A: Because it soots him.

Q: Why did Santa send his North Pole Workshop supervisor to psychotherapy?
A: Because the poor guy suffered from low elf esteem.

Q: What do you get when you cross Frosty the Snowman with Vampire Edward Cullen?
A: Frostbite.

Q: If Santa hired his own son as an elf, what would he call the kid?
A: Subordinate Claus

Q: What can you get, if you smoke under the Christmas tree?

A: A tannen-bomb.

Q: Why did the fast-food cook toss Santa into the deep fryer?
A: He wanted to see Krisp Kringle.

Q: What happened after Santa’s cat ate a ball of Christmas yarn?

A: She had mittens.

Q: What do you call people who are afraid of Santa Claus?

A: Claustrophobic.

Q: What does Mrs. Claus call reindeer that can’t keep up with the team?

A: Supper.

Q: How does Good King Wenceslas like his pizza?

 A: Deep pan, crisp and even.

Q: What did Dasher say to Dancer on December 25^th?
A: Merry Christmas, deer.

Q: How do Mr. and Mrs. Frosty go for a night on the town?

A: On an icicle built for two.

Q: What goes “Oh, oh, oh, oooooooh!”

A: Santa falling backwards off the roof.

Are you groaning yet, or simply puzzled? What other Christmas jokes or riddles do you know? (Leave a comment with your Christmas quips.)

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 Image/s:

Santa Chuckling

Public Domain Clipart

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Got Christmas in the mail yet?

Got Christmas in the mail yet?

"Mail your packages early, so the post office can lose them in time for Christmas," quipped late late-night talk show host and comedian Johnny Carson (1925-2005).

Have you stamped and sent your holiday cards and gift packages yet?

When should Christmas cards and gift packages be sent, if they are expected to arrive in time for Christmas?

Based on tradition and general guidelines, First Class letters need to go out by Tuesday, December 20^th, if they are to arrive at Continental U.S. recipient addresses by Saturday, December 24^th (Christmas Eve). Those who miss this deadline may opt for Priority Mail (sending by Wednesday, December 21^st) or Express Mail (posting by Thursday, December 22^nd).

Packages shipping by USPS Parcel Post have to go by Thursday, December 15^th, if they are to make it to their domestic U.S. destinations by Christmas Eve.

Of course, senders may choose from various messenger and delivery services, such as FedEx, DHL and UPS.

Catalog and online shoppers can enjoy free shipping offers and free overnight shipping upgrades from many merchants, particular with early orders. Just remember: December 17th is Free Shipping Day for 1,000+ Online Merchants. 

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Here’s a quick report for foreign shippers!

It’s already too late for regular mailings to most international locations. That doesn’t mean items won’t arrive by Christmas, but it’s surely not guaranteed or even likely.

Holiday shoppers who still need to send gifts overseas may do well to select emailed gift cards or store certificates at this time.

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It’s not too late to send holiday cheer to U.S. Armed Forces overseas.

But Santa has to hurry!

You can still send mail to U.S. military addresses overseas, as long as you fire off those First Class missives by Saturday, December 10^th. Express Mail Military Service cards and letters can go out through Saturday, December 17^th, and still likely arrive by Christmas Eve. 

Overseas Christmas parcels needed to go by Saturday, December 3^rd, for overseas military locations.

Happy holiday shopping and shipping – all around!

By the way, across the United States, December 26^th will be a postal holiday.

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U.S. Government Photos

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Christmas Cookie Roundup

Christmas Cookie Roundup

The holiday season is underway. Can you smell the fresh cookies baking?

What’s your favorite Christmas cookie? Are you given to gingerbread, partial to pralines, mad for macaroons or a chump for chocolate chips? Do you prefer bars, drop cookies or cut-out creations?

Are you most likely to purchase your holiday cookies, or do you bake them yourself? If you do make your own, do you start from scratch or buy pre-mixed cookie dough?

My favorite recipes for holiday munching include:

• 3-Ingredient Blond Brownies
• Butterfinger Drop Cookies 
• Chocolate & Peanut Butter Crunchies
• Cinnamon Oat Crunch Cookies
• Cracklin' Oat Bran Cookies 
• Crispy Treats
• Cut-Out Christmas Cookies
• Easy Peanut Brittle 
• Fancy Florentine Cookies
• Granny's Favorite Chewy Ginger Cookies
• Milky Way Brownies 
• Party-Pleasing Peppermint Bark
• Snickers Fudge Bars
• Simple Sugar Cookies
• Super-Simple Smooth Caramels  
• Totally Simple Toffee Treats

Do you have a beloved baking recipe from Christmases past or present?

In recent years, with gravity going after my physique, I’ve sampled lighter recipes for Christmas cookie baking. I’m always looking for new Low-Fat Holiday Cookie Recipes to share.

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Creative cookie cutters add to Christmas baking fun.

I love collecting holiday cookie cutters too. Like many cooks, I have a big box of different shapes and sizes. Bells, candy canes, Christmas trees, flowers, hearts, stars, wreaths and other choices tumble to my kitchen counter each December. I even have bunny, dog bone, feet, frog, hand and whale cookie cutters.

My most popular cookies are usually shaped like horses, made from sugar cookie or molasses gingerbread dough and painted with frosted manes and tails. (Those who know me best know why this is so.)

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Each Christmas, I love experimenting with new cookie recipes.

This year, I’m thinking of trying the new super-popular saltine toffee and perhaps some new truffles. Recently, I sampled these tasty treats at a holiday gathering, and I was intrigued. Now, if I could just talk the party hostess into spilling the secrets of these dessert delights…

And why not? Calories don’t count at Christmas, if you’re filled with holiday spirit. Or do they?

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Make Homemade Christmas Decorations with Cookie Cutters

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Image/s:

Christmas Cookies

Creative Commons Licensing photos

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